A couple of days ago I finally got some “catch up” time with one of my best friends. It had been awhile since we had gotten to talk, just the two of us. It was great. We have known each other for 5 years now and we established a long time ago that we could talk about anything without having to defend ourselves. I think everyone needs a friend they can be honest with, feel safe and not analyzed but expect honest feedback coming from a base of God’s love. I’m fortunate enough to have a couple of these gals in my life. ANYWAY, my friend shared that she has felt led to stop praying God “help me” become who you created me to be. She is praying “make me.” At the time I’m sure I properly oohed and awed at what a great spiritual sign of growth and maturity that could be and then the conversation moved on. However that phrase has shadowed me ever since. What difference does a couple of words mean? “Make me” vs. “help me” hmmm.
Yesterday morning I was reading Psalm 51 for a Bible Study I’m doing. It’s believed to be written by David after he was convicted of adultery and is a pretty well know portion of scripture. What struck me was he doesn’t ask God to “help him”. He tells God to have mercy on him according to your unfailing love. He states “Wash away all my iniquity.” He knows God is the only one who can do that, who can forgive his sins. Okay, most of us “get” that part. God is our salvation. The only one who can forgive and free us of our sins. So we ask for forgiveness and God’s mercy when we are convicted of our sins.
So that’s fantastic but then he goes on. “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” He doesn’t ask God to help him be better or make better choices next time. He says, just do it God. Make a pure heart in me and renew that steadfast spirit that believed I could slay a giant with You leading the way. Wow, that says alot to me. One thing is this whole Psalm is a testimony to the fact that we all sin, even those of us who really love the Lord. David is called a man after God’s own heart. He did kill Goliath. He did calm Saul’s crazy spirit with his music. He did become the king God anointed him to be. He also committed adultery and murder. BUT, when convicted he made no excuses. He didn’t ask for a 10-step program or a book to read to learn more about living a Godly life. He basically said, I’m here God. I’m willing. I’m all yours. Do YOUR thing. Make me the way you intended for me. Now that’s challenging.
I pray for forgiveness. I pray for God’s will to be done. Honestly though I can’t say I often just say, “do it Lord. Do whatever it takes to make me the person you created me to be, in Your time and Your way.” I think that is called complete surrender. I think I usually surrender parts of me. What about you? Can you think of a time when you really surrendered yourself or a situation over to God giving Him the freedom to do whatever He deemed necessary? What happened? Do you want to? Am I crazy? Am I over analyzing? What are you thinking?