“Control” – It’s such a simple word. It’s not hard to pronounce or even to spell. But it IS so deceiving. We all think we want it, even need it. I often justify my need for control. I love my family Lord, just let me help them, I think to myself. After all, I know what they need.
This weeks less on “relinquishment” goes far beyond “unthinkable circumstances”. It deals with every day life for most if not all of us. As I sit here this morning I can think of at least 3 situations in my life I’d love to “take care of”…however, (deep sigh) I know that I am not in charge. Nor do I need to be. God loves those I’m thinking of more than I do. He knows the number of the hairs on their heads. He created them and he’ll take care of them. I need to “relinquish” them and their situations. I need to “give up my rights to control the person, dream, expectation, or preferred outcome of the object of my concern.” As a mother (yes, even of adult children) I sometimes think I could save my children so much heartache if they would just listen to me. I could tell them what they should be doing. Then they should do it and life would be great, less hurt, more joy. However, if you have lived life at all we all know that they lessons we learn ourselves, decisions we make ourselves sink deeper into our souls then lessons we were “served on a silver platter.”
When Mark and I were training to be marriage mentors two of the best lessons I learned were:
1. It’s ALWAYS better if you wait and allow the mentorees to say the answer themselves. Even when you know it and it seems so obvious but they aren’t coming up with it. Let them think. Ask lots of questions but let them answer.
2. It’s their marriage (life). We can present the truth. We can offer to support them. We can pray. BUT it is their life. It is their choice. It is not mine.
These lessons apply to all of life. As I said earlier there are at least 3 situations in the lives of people I love that I would like to “fix.” I can’t. But I can “relinquish” them to God who loves them more than I do. I can pray for them, for their protection in the process, for their ability to see and choose truth. After that, it’s all up to God! Will you join me? Take a minute to pray right now and give God the people,dream, expectation, or preferred outcome you are holding on to.