One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, “Here’s to helping you discover what you are really like.”
Gary and Betsy Ricucci
Wow, I’ve never thought of it quite like that before but it is so true, if we’re willing to admit it. My husband had an outpatient surgery last Wednesday. This was a scheduled event. Actually it was the 3rd year in a row that he has had some sort of surgery in December after the really physical part of his work is done for the year. The few days following surgery are a mixed blessing for me. I have to admit, I love that I have a legitimate reason to say “no” to everything. My husband needs me you know. So as in years past we came home and settled him into his recliner with a couple of movies ready to be played. Pain meds, check, water, check, blankets, check…well you get the idea. Once he was settled (and after I took a nap – it was a very early morning) I started in on some of the household chores I had been putting off, being quiet of course and checking on him often. That lasted through the night of setting the alarm every 4 hours for pain meds and resettling him in the recliner the next day. Then reality began to hit. The Christmas shopping isn’t done. Oh well, we can do some of that by internet and make a plan for the local shopping. Maybe he’ll feel like going out in a couple of days. Oh and there’s that budget report I need to do for Treasure Chest Ministries. I can’t finish it without his input. And last but not least, the clinic where I work is still a bit short staffed AND we switched to electronic medical records in October. That means we have inputting to do which requires extra time. Guess what? Those of us who are not full-time are expected to fill in these gaps. 2 1/2 months later…I’m really tired of this expectation. I get anxious about my responsibilities at work…and at home. I get crabby. I start thinking. I start fussing. I start getting short-tempered. Notice anything? All of the sudden life is ALL ABOUT ME! Instead of serving my husband who could really use the help I’m wanting him to take care of himself AND help me figure out what to do and when to do it. Wow, that turned around in a hurry. Hmmm, back to the top. Marriage can be a mirror to show us what we are really like. I don’t like what I see in this circumstance. I became very self-centered very quickly. That caused my attitude to change from servant to take care of yourself, from patient to not patient, from kind to well let’s just say not as kind. Nasty. I didn’t like who I saw when I took the time to look.
The good news is that marriage is for a lifetime. My husband loves me and is my best friend. I apologized and asked for his forgiveness. He was so gracious to even allow some talk time to figure out what the root of my anxiousness actually is instead of just leaving it at surface value. You know what? Looking in the mirror this morning I see a more peace-filled woman. Thanks God. Thanks Mark.
What about you? Have you ever thought about your marriage or significant relationships as a chance to look in the mirror?