So as the beautiful, filled up morning unfolds I am struck with a question. Where are the boundaries in marriage? Are there boundaries in marriage? I believe there are. Why should there be when “the two become one”? I mean if we are truly “one” then isn’t everything in our lives overlapping, shared by both?
My answer is yes and no. Yes, we have become one. We should have unlimited access in the form of trust and care and love. Because of that trust and care and love we are here to serve each other. Helping each other fully live life should be one of our top goals. Helping each other means telling the truth out of love, not always complying just to “keep him happy.” But honestly helping your spouse because you love them – sometimes that includes saying no. Why are they asking you to help them with their project? Do they really need help or have they taken on too much again and they are drowning? If they are it’s your job to determine how to best help them. Do you actually help them get it done while reserving a time to talk about not always saying “yes” to everything that is asked of you or do you say no, because you’ve talked about this several times and they need to walk through the consequences of their choices? Then think about your side. Why do you want to say “no?” Are you mad at them for getting into this “too busy” position? Are they “interrupting” your plans? Do you know how to help?
Do you have “boundaries” in your marriage? Are there things that are totally yours to take care of and things that are your spouse’s? How does that work for you? Do you think there is one right way?