Marriage Monday – Do You Need Something New?

Fall football has begun, several weeks ago for high school and now college and pros are in full swing. With the start of the football season also comes a slew of new commercials all trying to entice us to watch their program or buy their product. There is always something newer, bigger, better to be had. (according to the commercials) I believe this mentality has and is taking it’s toll on our life. We are just never satisfied. We constantly want something different than what we already have. This mind set even bleeds over into our relationships. We want the people around us to benefit us. We want friends everywhere we go so that we feel _______. (you fill in the blank for you) If our friends don’t fit into our schedule, we don’t see them. If our friends talk too loud in a crowd we find excuses not to be with them in that setting. Then we look for new friends.

Now while I don’t believe you have to be with every friend you have at every invitation. I do believe that when you marry someone it is for life.  Our consumerism mentality seems to have spilled over into our marriage relationships as well. We marry this person who makes us happy. We brag on their talents and laugh at their jokes. Then we get married and after awhile we find out they chew their cuticles and spit them or they always leave their latest “project” out until it’s done. (no matter how big the mess) Real life sets in but instead of embracing and investing in the new revelations about our spouse we focus on ourselves. How does the way they behave, their habits, likes and dislikes effect me? Am I comfortable with that?  If not, well, they better change or I may just find someone who will.  That seems to be the overall attitude in America anyway. I’m so glad that that is not God’s attitude towards us and that He is our example. He tells us in Jeremiah that He loves us with an “everlasting love.”  Sure there are things I’ve discovered about my husband that I didn’t know when I married him. Sure there are things that I’m not all that fond of, however I know he can say the same about me.  However, he’s MINE! I’m HIS…forever and ever, Amen. There is a comfort in that. Part of the comfort is that we can help each other be stronger, better people but even if some of our bad habits or rough edges never go away we are here for each other. One of my favorite teachers, Mike Hartwig credits his wife for helping him become such a great speaker. He tells that in his early days of public teaching she would listen to him and not only tell him what he did well but helped him to identify some habits that were distracting to his teaching. She didn’t take the attitude Mike does this and that’s not very professional. I just can’t be around that. Why? Because she loves him and wants him to be the best he can be!

So think about it a minute. Are you focused on what the relationships, primarily your marriage, do for you? Do you rate them by how comfortable you are in them? Or are you truly committed to the relationship, enabling yourself and your spouse to be loved unconditionally. Once you reach that decision it opens up endless possibilities for you and for your relationship. And by the way, it’s a great way to live, far less pressure and stress.