The challenge in my life is not new. In fact it is exactly the same as it has been for as long as I can remember. The circumstances change on a daily sometimes hourly basis but it all boils down to the same thing. Do I really believe God is all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent and loves me more than life itself? If I really believe that then each and every decision I make should be based on that. But is it?
I’d like to answer yes. And the truth is I have made many choices in my life based on those facts. I believe, really believe that God is God. A real God, a huge, magnificent, beyond anything I can imagine. I’ve thought that as I said, as long as I can remember. I pretty much grew up “playing” with God. Living on the farm with a small timber I was allowed to play outside using my imagination to entertain myself. My neighbor and I would build playhouses from branches and stumps and what ever else we could find. We saw God’s creation up close and personal. We didn’t worry about things. That’s the way it should be for kids.
Somehow when we get to be adults we think we should “take care” of everything, literally everything. We want the right job and the right house. We want our children to have “everything” they need and many, many opportunities to try. We want to have time for fun but also make sure our house is clean. We plan for retirement for later and a vacation for now…you get the idea. I’m sure you can relate, at least to some extent. When did our trust in God get moved back a few steps in our list of priorities? At what age did that happen? My husband often asks it this way, “when did we stop dancing in the isles at church like little children do?” You’ve seen it. A precious child grins and dances, oblivious to their surroundings. They are just caught up in the music. But at some age we start realizing and caring that others are watching. What will they think? So we start behaving in ways that we believe will lead others to think well of us. Which leads us back to worrying and trying to control nearly every aspect of our life.
Control, that’s what I’m learning about right now. It’s being discussed in our small group. Changes are happening in my work place (again) and I can’t control it. Changes are happening with my parents. I can’t control it. The season is changing. I can’t control it. The question is will I continue to try to or will I trust God and sit back and wait for Him to lead? What about you? Are you a controller? When did that start?