Over this past long holiday weekend I had some great conversations with friends and family. It was during one of those conversations that I heard a comment that has stuck in my head. A pastor had was counseling a man one of our family members knows and he said this, “You need to learn to love her from the inside out first.” Wise words, very wise words. If we would just take the time to get to know a person’s heart it could save alot of heartache for both parties involved. After all Proverbs 27:19 says, “As in water face reflects face, So a man’s heart reveals the man.”
Our heart is who we really are. If we are harboring alot of anger and unforgiveness we can hide it for a long time. We can get dressed, put our make up on and for a long time no one may “see” our heart. This is especially true when a relationship is new. We are usually on our “best” behavior at that time. We don’t want others to see inside, often because of past hurts. If we let this new person see what we are really feeling and thinking they may reject us adding a new wound to the old wound which isn’t even healed yet. It’s just buried.
However, if we would just slow down a bit and get beyond the obvious our relationship could be built on a strong foundation. Sure good looks are a plus. Liking some of the same things and having common interests are important in a relationship. Mark and I dated off and on for 3 years before we actually got married. I knew his family better than I knew him at the start. They lived close and had common interests. He had left for college and was only home on breaks. Over the years I learned that there was a passionate heart for God and for doing things well. He loves finishing a job, sticking with it until it’s done. I knew that before I married him. Years later, when betrayal and illness hit our relationship I could sort his heart out from temporary circumstances. My faith in God and who God had created Mark to be along with what I knew his heart was really like carried me through that time. If I only knew his good looks and talents I’m not sure we’d be together today.
Can you describe your spouse’s heart? What does their character look like? What do the really care about?
How about you? What do they see in your heart? If you don’t think they know what can you do to share your heart with them?