My husband and I have been working on winding up the winter projects/season and shifting gears for the spring season. He is a small business owner which primary work comes from April to December so over the winter months we get personal projects done, concentrate more on Treasure Chest Ministries and take a much needed vacation. This year we added classes for each of us, extra hours for me at my nursing job due to staff shortages and of course visits with our grand-daughter! The mowers are back in our garage getting their final tune ups for the upcoming season. Our classes are winding down. One ministry project is coming to a close and another has just begun. Another grand-baby is on the way. Life is good.
Last weekend we did an event together. It was great. The preparation time had it’s usual battles for enough time to prepare, lost information or equipment and health. Why is it that when you have to speak or sing in public a cold seems to work it’s way into the scheme of things? What we didn’t have were battles over what to talk about, the music we would use or what order to do things. When we practiced the music together we talked through the transitions, tempo and where we were going with each song. The actual event went well. Did we speak every word clearly and sing/play every note without mistakes? No, it wasn’t technically perfect but it was good. Why? It wasn’t about the gal who’s vision it was to have this event. It wasn’t about Mark or me. It was about us working as a team to bring God to the people who attended. These people were tired and in need of encouragement. These people needed to be paid attention to, heard and some of them needed hugs. They got that. We, as a team, shared our time, our ability to listen and to care, along with our personal relationship with God Himself with them. As Mark talked with the worship leader of the church where we were holding the event, I didn’t question what he was saying. When Connie decided to have coffee and cookies I didn’t scrutinize what kind, how much and from where. When I set up the keyboard Mark didn’t question my sound settings. We all worked together for the common good of the people who were coming. We worked together.
Last night in our small group we talked about the famous Ephesians 5 passage where it talks about men leading and women submitting. We could go round and round about what that all means and should look like. What we decided it boiled down to is that we as a married couple are a team, one team. Our team goal is to learn to play the game of life together for the glory of God. We need to know each others strengths and weaknesses, not so we can use one another in a detrimental way, but so we can run plays that capitalize on each other’s strengths and minimize our weaknesses. We need to work together to better our weak skills. When you are fully convinced that your team is all focused on the same goal it’s easy to trust one another and even follow a team mate when the game play seems to have changed midstream. Why? Because you know where you are headed.
Part way through Mark’s time of leading last week, as I listened and watched the people I knew that a short story from our life would help make the point he was working on. When he paused I asked, right there in front of everyone, if I could share something. He didn’t even blink. He just said, “sure”. I told the story and then we went on as planned. There were no crazy “what are you doing?” looks, no extra distracting dialogue, just “sure.” Why? Because he knew that we were on the same team and headed for the same goal. Mark and I walked away from last weekend excited because of a successful time of working together as a team and even more encouraged that we can live like that day to day. We’ve recommitted to working on our listening skills so that we listen first and then respond. Also to giving each other the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to the negative conclusion first. How about you, can you think of your marriage as a team? What skills are your team’s strengths and what things could you work on?