So often I feel I’m not equipped for this job. I’ve heard that said or said it myself a 100 times. But as the author of an article I read in “Heartbeat Africa” said, “… in the recent days and weeks I have seen a pattern emerging. A pattern that’s good news for people like me. I have noticed that all around me are people with “issues”. And so many of those issues revolve around their families. Husbands and wives fighting for their marriages. Mothers and daughters vying for the approval of the other. Health issues, discipline issues, money issues, heart issues.” Isn’t it amazing how an American women serving in a “Creative Access Nation” is witnessing the same exact thing that we are experiencing here in The States. People are the same all over the world. We want to be accepted and loved. It’s true in our work place, school, neighborhood and mostly definitely in our homes.
I’m beginning to believe that we just make this life too hard. We put expectations on ourselves and on those around us that are often totally unreasonable. We expect our spouse to “make us happy.” They should know what we want for supper and when to tell us we look good (always). They should notice that we made sure their biking clothes were clean and ready to go for the first ride of the season or that their lunch was ready and waiting in the refrigerator.
I wonder what would happen if we would just quit thinking, planning, plotting, and attempting to control what they are thinking, doing, or thinking of doing and just become present in their life. I wonder what would happen if I would just “show up” every day, ready to be a part of my husband’s life. I am coming to believe that relationships don’t have to be as hard as we make them. We just need to show up with an attitude of I’m with you. I’m thinking I need to seriously cut back on my “planning” and invest a lot more energy on focusing on my husband when I’m with him. Stop multi-tasking while he’s talking to me. Turn the ringer on my phone off. Look at him while he’s talking, really hear what he’s saying.
For the past 6 days I’ve been moving slow. I had an arthroscopic knee surgery 6 days ago. My husband has been here. Now he’s had some work to do. He didn’t just sit and stare at me, waiting to jump up for my slightest need. He did make me the #1 priority for the days immediately following surgery. He asked me what I needed done each day. Made sure I had easy access to things when he had to be gone and most notably just allowed me to rest and heal. He did not put alot of expectations on me. We had frozen meals from friends and then the leftovers from those meals served us just fine, no complaints. You know the truth is we both used good old fashioned manners! There has been alot of “please and thank you” going on around here. It’s just that easy.
What do you think?